What a silly moppet!

Well, today marks my four week stay in London. I am amazed at how much has happened and changed since then. I've gone from being lost constantly, being completely out of my element, feeling estranged, alone, and heartsick to... home. Which got me thinking, what is home? I think it's wherever God calls us. Thanks to Him, I found a family of believers who spend every day loving on people and taking the time to genuinely get to know them and bless them. I found purpose and thriving instead of just surviving. So here, thousands of miles from what I know to be home, I feel like I'm right where I am supposed to be. It hasn't been without pain and brokenness, but I thank God for everything He has broken within me that isn't good. And that's been a lot of stuff lately.

Culturally, I've been thinking about things I miss about home, and things I'll miss about London when I get back to the states. Here are a few

Things I miss about the states:

1. being able to eat in a food establishment without getting charged extra for sitting there to eat.

2. Target/Walmart. Which is bad, but it's true.

3. Not having to convert pounds to dollars in my head every time I buy something.

4. Bean and Cheese burritos

5. My friends and family

6. Watching movies

7. Being able to text people when I see something ridiculous that reminds me of them.

8. People driving on the right side of the road.

9. Being able to swipe my own credit card, and not having my signature analyzed every time I use it.

10. Understandable american accents.

Things I will miss about London:

1. Pret A Manger. and all other healthy fast food establishments.

2. Public transit/being able to walk almost anywhere.

3. Regents park

4. My missionary family and all the things God is doing here.

5. Fitting in with all the crazy looking people that live in Camden.

6. Ordering white Americano's.

7. Sainsburys tiramisu cups.

8. Hearing Florence and the Machine played everywhere I go.

9. Topshop, Argo's, John Lewis, and Shepherds Bush.

10. Being in a city so old and diverse that there is always something new to do.

Alone.

So I've been in London for almost two weeks now, and my feelings toward it are completely bipolar. I've felt lost and alone in a foreign country, homesick for my family and friends, and heartsick over broken relationships. But gradually my heart is starting to change, because I see now that God has brought me here to reset my broken bones and broken heart. It's just me and Him here, and God's ignited an insatiable hunger to be close to Him again. I fill my two hours of walking to school and back with sermons on my Ipod. I spend my hours doing homework with Christian radio stations playing. I actually get on my knees and lift everything in my heart up to God every night before I go to sleep. It's been almost three years since that has been a regular practice for me.

Several key things have come to light in the past week through reading the Word, hearing sermons, and insight from a fellow Christian.

Firstly, I was reading 1 and 2 Corinthians the other morning, and I was totally convicted about my life over the past few years. How I ignored God so long that He let me walk my own path of destruction. I became depraved and completely different from the person I was when I was walking with Him. I cried because of how sad I am that I walked away from the Lord, and have come to the realization that my pain and broken heart are signs that He loves me. He loved me so much that He completely broke me down, but even as I'm drowning in sorrow, God is rescuing me. He is refining my heart, and I know that my experiences have already been an encouragement to others. My mistakes weren't completely in vain.

Secondly, right after reading that, a good friend of mine said that God put it on his heart to share the following quote with me:

Often we are faced with a crisis, the standard, garden-variety answer is to sort of tuck your tail between your legs, run into a corner, and let the cobwebs form over you. But there is a better way. As long as you have breath in your lungs, you have a purpose for living. you have a reason to exist. No matter how bad that track record might have been, marked by disobedience and compromise through most of your life, you're alive, you're existing. and God says "there's a reason. And i'm willing to do creative things to put you back on your feet. You can lick you wounds if that's your choice. But there's a better way." it will take creativity, it will take determination, it will take constant eyes on The Lord. But when he pulls it off, its marvelous. -Chuck Swindoll

Now, what I got from that was that no matter how much I've messed up, God still has a purpose for me. This isn't the end, it's just the beginning. What a blessing and encouragement this was on that day.

The third thing, yet again along the same lines, is three sermons I've listened to between yesterday and today by Steele Croswhite. They were from 1 Peter, 1 Corinthians.. and I think Romans. But basically speaking even further into what it means to be a Christian without compromise, and on spiritual maturity. I got slapped in the face when he started talking about sin in the Christians life. Yes we're still saved, but it leads to death. Death of joy, death of purpose, death of the conscience. And I experienced all of those when I chose to walk my own path. I was miserable. And when we choose to walk that way, God will break our legs. Thus my brokenness, but now that I am broken, I'm praying God will heal me to be closer to Him.

Well I'm done ranting now, but I'm glad God drug me thousands of miles away from home now. It's starting to makes sense.

London Time

I’m here in London for my first full day. Sleeping was terrible because I kept waking up around the evening time to loud people, and feeling left out because I was sleeping. But I also knew that I just needed to sleep so I could reset my body to be functional again. I’ve been feeling very out of sorts and homesick. When I got here yesterday, I had a bad experience on the tube because I was lost and dragging so much luggage around. But now that I’m rested I think it will be a lot easier to get adjusted. My roommates are very sweet, and so are all the other people. Some seem kind of like standoffish artsy people, but I’m sure they’re nice once you get to know them.

My flat was really hard to find, but it’s right next to the Royal Veterinary School, so there is a horse and a cow right next to us. I live in Camden, which was home to the bohemian artists and writers back in the day. The streets are incredibly confusing, but we took a walking tour of the neighborhood yesterday and I feel better. There are a few really neat grocery stores nearby, so that made it feel a bit more like home. It’s really expensive, but I’m thinking it will even out once I buy the basic things like salt and olive oil. We have a a full kitchen, but no oven… That’s a bit of a bummer, but stove cooking it is!

Let’s see.. the toilets are different, everyone uses pubs as points of reference, and the biggest pub in London is just down the street. So is Koko’s nightclub where Dana made me promise to go. I’m getting used to the money too. There’s a 99 pence store nearby I’m going to go visit today to get basic stuff. Everyone drives on the wrong side of the road, and everyone is in a huge hurry. I thought American’s were focused on getting things done, but it’s ridiculous here. Maybe it’s because everyone walks everywhere, they have to be efficient.

Today is the walking tour of all the major sightseeing places here, so I’m hoping to take a lot of great pictures. It took me more time to figure out how to work the shower than it actually took to shower, and my outlet started smoking this morning... I should probably work on that issue.

I drank my tea and ate my banana, so now it's time to go see the sights. Pictures to follow!