Oh, cuss.

I am so ready for this year to be over. I don't know if it's the impending end of this chapter of my life, or just exhaustion over my never ending to-do list. I just want to be home already. After stressing over all the unknowns in life, I've come to be at a place of peace knowing it will all work out somehow. Life is an adventure, and unknowns make it fun. Or at least that's what I keep reminding myself. Two and a half weeks from now, I will take of the many hats I've worn for the past two years, and move out of the place I've called home for the past three for the last time. It's strange, a bit scary, but freeing all the same.

I really want to plant a garden. Too bad Vegas is a suffocatingly dry desert that kills all living plants besides palm trees and grass. I think my soul is unsettled being away from my roots for too long. I want to visit my grandparents at their wonderful farm where I spent my childhood. Everything is so simple and more than half of the good things in life happen outside. Hopefully a trip is in order before too long.

It's funny to see how bits and pieces of personality from my relatives is coming out in mine. I have my grandma's fiery spirit, artistic flair, and love of flowers. Which is cool because she is amazing.

Anyways, I want summer hot heat now! No more wet, cold, 60 degree coastal weather. I want my desert.

make me a beast half as brave, i'd be the same

It's a super lazy Saturday morning, and I've been meaning to write a lot more often because I always think of random things to write about. I'm reading The House of the Spirits by Isabelle Allende again, one of my favorite books of all times. In it, a character named Clara lives her life halfway between the present and another realm, keeping track of everything she sees and thinks in her journals that bear witness to life. I love this because I identify with writing down the important and the strange to aid my memory that often fails me. Lives are amazing stories to be read. And if my days don't reflect anything worth writing down, I'm not living life to the potential I want.

Life is a strange mix of certain and uncertain right now. I have a plane ticket to London that keeps me there for 10 weeks, but I'm still applying for my visa so I can work the last five I'm there. I thought we had a place to live figured out for sure for next semester, but now that is up in the air again. I thought I had the internship in the fall for sure, but now I'm having a tricky time getting scheduled for an interview. I'm not really worried, it more annoyance at not having some pretty important things figured out, and running out of time to do it in.

My favorite song right now is Jezebel by Iron and Wine. Partly because I have a morbid interest in gory Bible stories, and partly because it's just an amazing song. The past few weeks I've discovered that I have somehow become privy to a piece of the local music scene here in San Diego. I've been to several shows in the past week for some phenomenal musicians, and it's a blessing to know them as people. Music makes the world go round, and I even did my block print for art class on the subject. Which may lead to fabric printing.... we will see.

I went out and bought a recipe box and cards the other day, and some other random kitchen things for our non-existent apartment. I love making up recipes, so I figured it was time to write them down. I also have a bunch of random paper scraps and notebook scribbles with recipes I've found throughout the past few years that need transfered to official and decipherable cards.

This morning I read part of 2 Corinthians 12, and I love the part about Paul having a thorn in his flesh. God tells him "My grace is sufficient enough for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Paul doesn't complain about this, he just takes it as it comes "taking pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake." Why? "Because when I am weak, then I am strong." I pray for an attitude like that. I'm convicted so often about the sour attitude I get about things that don't even matter. I want to keep my head in the clouds and focused on Christ when life deals me things I don't like.

That's.. all for now.

Leaning Tower of Piza Tree

So I was sitting at a music show last night, and this tree was right outside the chapel window. It's a massive tree, leaning precariously to the side, right over a house. Now I'm not a rocket scientist, nor am I a horticulturist, but I don't think this is a good thing.

The music show was three hours long. And I thought about this for a good chunk of it. Thus, deciding to write this blog.

Birthday Madness

This past weekend was filled with wonderful birthday celebrations. First off was the lovely Meaghan Maples, whom I admire and adore. Jaime and I made her a sweet birthday present, made with paper flowers and a dollar thrift store mug. Her family and friends are the most talented group of people I've ever met. Hearing them all perform was such a blessing.

Then the next day we had an all American beach Barbeque for Willi, the coolest German member of our small group. It was cloudy, and a seagull got a burger right off the grill, but we had a great time. I am so blessed by all the people in our group, and it's been fun getting to know them better by spending time

doing random things like this. We tried to all dress in red, white, and blue, so if felt like the fourth of july all over again. But more fun. And with more butchered German. (Willi is in the middle of the right hand picture)

Today completed day number one of this weeks craziness. I almost started crying while I was eating my broccoli at lunch today because I hit the part in The Kite Runner where Baba dies. So sad. I also decided that my new favorite weather might possibly be a windy, very sunny day right after heavy downpouring rain. It was magical.

Now I already have two stress knots in my shoulders, but I'm trying to stay organized so this week goes smoothly. Beach camping in only a few days, I can't wait!!!!

Just before the rain came down, the sun came out at last

I love hearing songs that relate to life. Because sometimes my life is like trying to do pull ups. I can hang there all day long, but when I try to lift myself up, the strength to do so just doesn't exist. But I went ahead and ran my normal running loop, now I feel a bit better. The runner in me is energized by working out, which really doesn't make sense at all. And I can barely lift my arms because of surfing in a rip tide yesterday.

This next week is jammed with amazing things to do and amazing people to see. SCAD is just around the corner, two of my dear friends have birthday parties this weekend, and half of the awesome people in Utah are coming down for next weekend. I'm trying my best to get excited about all of it, but I've just been wanting to sleep non-stop. Perhaps because I went almost a whole week without sleep, or maybe some other reason entirely.

I still know God is good, and that He will see me through this. And, I have had several ironic coincidences in life that prove God's presence in my life. One was checking out two completely unrelated books at the library, and having a quote from one author be on the cover of the other without noticing. The other is listening to Andrew Bird. Only God could create a man who can whistle like that.