up down and all around crazy love

The year is in full swing at last, with my planner full and each day scheduled weeks in advance. But I am so at peace this year, without the stress and grind that characterized my last school year. I'm super excited because I'm starting as a youth leader for the high school youth group at First Church. Ministry is a piece of my life that has been sorely lacking the past two years, and I've felt the gradual decline of my soul as it's purpose has gone by the wayside. The kids are wonderful, and I feel like I have so much more to live for now.

I'm reading Crazy Love right now, and it's playing right into these transitions in my life. I'm meeting people who are on the same mission to live simply, wholly devoted to serving God in every way and part of life. I feel pangs of regret for every person I've encountered over the past two years that I didn't share God's love with. That I didn't invite to join my church community and to experience a way to show love for others. And in that, I'm praying for a second chance. That maybe by some miracle I'll run into them again. I know a few people who were hit hard by the chapter in the book on lukewarm Christians, and I am now one of them. It's a heavy blow to the heart and mind to realize that I've been living so selfishly and for myself, stuck in my own little world not wanting to acknowledge God's much bigger plan.

God's timing is perfect. He knows when things need to happen for us to be most fulfilled, and to be ready for them. Taking His advice also works out for the best. I've struggled with loving others who don't love me back, and the Bible commands us to do that. So in an effort to follow that command, it's amazing how much fulfillment there is. I can be fulfilled completely by serving God, no matter what the circumstance, or the people involved. So amazing.

I'm so excited about life now, with my amazing girls on the hall, and my wonderful roommate. We've already had so many adventures, and I can't wait for all the others that will come :)