Love is..

So I know I'm home when I have really bad allergies, sore muscles from working out with the twins, and some poor backyard animal is captive in my little sisters room.

I think I get my random knowledge from my dad. Today he whipped the location of Liberace's old house, and where Sigfried and Roy live. We drove to both after our New Mexican dinner. The houses are gaudy and ridiculous, and look exactly like I'd imagine for Vegas show people.

Life always gets a bit hazy when I spend a lot of time in my house, so I'm trying to combat it with visiting lots of people and running all the errands I can think up. I'm a little mad because my room just filled up with cigarette smoke from my lovely sibling smoking outside my window. Yuck.

I found a new song I really like today from a band called A Rotterdam November. It's called Love Is, and is yet another reason I LOVE being able to listen to Christian radio when I'm home.

I'm not quite sure why life feels so surreal right now, but this weekend and next week should be quite wonderful. For pure family weekend my mom wants to go hiking at Red Rock, go to the Liberace museum, and watch the Blindside. Amongst other things. Next week I get to see my Jennie and Leslie, and Angels and Airwaves is coming with Say Anything, who I am SO stoked to see. Next Saturday I'm throwing myself a little going away party for a few reasons. One is to see all my close friends at once, and another is to try all the party platter dishes I've been itching to make...

I was thinking of starting a sort of food blog, because of how much cooking I've been doing. I made BBQ chicken pizza the other night that was pretty good for the first time. My vegetable pasta, bruschetta, and parmesan garlic corn all turned out really yummy. I don't know what I'll do when I'm just cooking for one again. Hopefully I'll find a group to cook for while I'm in London, meet some elderly neighbors or something.

My head feels like it's about to blow up from allergies, it's so terrible for the pollen sensitive here. So... lots of allergy meds and sleep for me :)

I've got the clap, now I'm giving it to you, hey!

Title courtesy of the Wiggles.

I have been home for a day and a half now, and I feel like I'm in a really good dream I don't want to ever end. I forgot how good it feels to be safe at home with my family, loved and cared for. How much I love the warm weather and the hot breeze, and my amazing friends. I've made total of 7 new recipes so far, and tonights pasta, bruschetta, and parmesan corn on the cob was super amazing. I think I'll be making it again soon for sure.

Vegas is great. It's hot and dry, and someone thought it would be a good idea to paint all the rocks at the side of the beltway an ugly lime green. Which is hilarious, because it just looks worse, not better. But the desert has a unique beauty that I love. My window is open now, and even though the horses next door are kicking their feed bins, the air feels so good.

Kelly and Kristin came over for dinner tonight, and we cooked, shared a bottle of wine, and visited with my family. I can't describe the feeling of bliss that stems from having such close friends that have known you for so long. I miss sharing the whole summer with them, and having time to plan hikes and camping trips with them. But we're making the most of the time we have now, and we have our whole lives ahead of us still.

I'm excited to see some of my other friends as well, and it's crazy how life is taking unexpected twists and turns. People are getting engaged, falling in love, moving, staying, and more.

Working out is so much fun here because I have people to workout with and to motivate me. Kelly and I did an Insanity workout today, and I'm super sore already. Tomorrow is going to suck. But pushing through pain working out is what brought us all so close together, so it's just fun anyways. I love it. Praise God for all the good in life, and the bad. Because even in the best times there is pain and hardship, but joy overshadows it on days like today.

Runaway

if you ran to the end of the earth
i would catch you and you would be safe
if you fell down the well
i would bring you a rope and take all the pain

all the pain, all the pain
that you hide from me everyday

if youre missing i will run away
i will build a path to you
if you're missing i will run away
because I find myself in you

if i woke up alone i won't stop till i'll find you and you are with me
cause by now, i know you better than you know yourself
and i know what you really need
what you need, or i need
but either way this is where you should be
here with me, or ill bleed so much that you wont believe

if you're missing i will run away
i will build a path to you
if you're missing i will run away
because I find myself in you

you better not, you better not run
you better not, you better not run

if you're missing i will run away
i will build a path to you
if you're missing i will run away
i will find you
i will find you
i will find you

I'd rather change my view than dedicate this rhyme to you

Well this has been an interesting couple of days. Friday I finished my visa application.. mostly. I was proud of what I did get accomplished on it. Then Jaime and I ended up having an insane night. It went something like this: Random art festiva

l at NTC, with little kids playing in the big water fountain in their underwear (yes, my children will be allowed to do that.), getting scared by a biker downtown but finding an amazing parking spot, Urban, chocolate decadence and people watching, and drunk girls knocking trashcans off the wall in the Gheradelli bathroom. Then on to tortillas, the Whistlestop to watch a punk girl band and a greaser country band, meeting a guy from Azusa and other really random people, leaving and seeing a homeless man do something really disturbing, and finally.. Robot Chicken and a really awful old horror movie about a swamp monster. So good.

Chocolate is a great restaurant to eat at downt

own if you want dessert or breakfast. Super cute and the waitresses are really nice.

Saturday we had pancakes at Meg Maples house in Hillcrest, which is pretty much the most amazing area. The four of us walked to Peets, got some compliments from gay couples at Mo’s restaurant, and then attempted to hit the American Apparel rumm

age sale in the Gaslamp. Didn’t happen. Went to People’s Food in OB (where I would be happy working until my dying day) and then finished my art final project.

Young Life open mic night was incredible, and so is Paris Je t’aime. As foreign movies go, it’s on of the top on my list.

Sunday funday someone had put bubbles in the fountain at Liberty Station, and they were flying all over the place. It was gorgeous, and that moment should have lasted forever. There’s something about bubbles that make you feel like a kid again. Then we got ice cream at the place across from Rebecca’s in South Park, too rich for me. I love my girls, we had a great mothers day as non-mothers calling our moms and grandmas. I am SO blessed to have such an amazing mother who inspires me all the time.

I ran to the graveyard by Cabrillo and back. It feels so good to be getting back into shape. I always forget how much I love to run when I get out of the habit for a while. But there’s a race in October to train for now, I’m stoked.

Anyways. Fun last weekend in San Diego for a while. Three whole months away, crazy.

There's a drumming noise inside my head that starts when you're around

I am IN LOVE with the drumming song by Florence + The Machine. You haven't lived until you've heard that song at least a dozen times, preferably with good bass.

Today I hit a crisis point in life, questioning so many things. Who I am, what I stand for, where I belong, who my friends are, and the choices I make. None of it made any sense today, and I just wanted to go home. The place I call home changes a lot.. but today home was Las Vegas, with my family and friends that know me better than anyone. San Diego doesn't feel like home right now, and Utah is out of the running too. My own skin doesn't feel like home either. I'm thinking it's just transition blues getting me down, that and wondering where the past three years has gotten me. It's been a wearying three years, and part of me just wants to quit. It will all work out though. It always does.

I also can't figure out why I feel like relationships go in cycles of good to bad, then back to good again. It can't be healthy to be so unstable. But where is the line between loving and hanging in there, and walking away because it's not good? I can't seem to find it, so maybe there isn't one. Maybe it's just gray. I hate gray. Black and white is so much easier to deal with, my brain longs to be sure of things. My heart does too.

Well, classes are over officially, and I feel so free. It hasn't really set in yet, but the time has almost come to say goodbye to living on campus, being an RA, and to Cali for a few months. Just finals to fight now... and the remainder of my visa application. I promise myself that tomorrow I WILL be completely done with the stupid thing, so I can just go to the shady immigration office, get my fingerprints taken, and mail it all in. The day that envelope falls into that lovely blue postal service box will be a glorious one. Hopefully next Tuesday.

Sleep time.

but it's wild in the wild, wild west

I discovered another new favorite movie last night in the form of Judy Garland's The Harvey Girls. Old films are always great, so thanks AMC for showing me yet another classic.

Yesterday was an uplifting day because I ran a solid 4 and half miles and talked to my two closest friends from home. They always know how to cheer me up and make me feel like myself again, not to mention I get to go home and see them in less than two weeks. SO excited :) It will be so good to be with family and friends again.

I'm in a weird hair style spot right now. I need to re-dye my roots and somehow get it trimmed so it can be a good faux-hawk again. I might let it grow back out after I get home from Europe. Also not quite sure if my straightener will work with the outlets abroad... I'll be sad if an adaptor fries my bling Chi. It's been a good friend these past four years.

I heard a great quote from momma Donna the other day, I wanted to share. It goes something like this.... "Girls have become tofu. They take on the flavor of whatever guy they're with. What the world needs is girls like chili powder, spicing up and changing the lives of those they come in contact with." I love that. You rock momma D.

Saturday night I went to a club called The Loft to see my friend Becky's band Los Flores Hombres open for Civil Twilight at SDSU. It was a great venue, and the lead singer of Civil Twilight had an eerie resemblance to Robert Pattinson and the bad guy from Gossip Girl. But man could he hit a falsetto. Good times.

It's 28 days and counting until London, and I got a crossbody purse for the occasion. Check to one more thing on my to-do list before I go. I'm going to have to walk around the block with all my luggage to make sure I can handle it.... which will look almost as goofy and the guy that practices deep sea fishing tosses at the side of our road.

And to end, I saw the most amazing thing on Sunday. A little old lady, probably between 80 and 90, was practicing tee ball all by herself on Kellog beach. It was the most adorable thing ever. I want to be her in 60 years.